LOST

We did everything together that’s why it doesn’t make any sense. Where would she go? And why? Me and Myself wondered. Things started getting rough but we’ve always been able to pull through together. Yet I was lost.

Memories were the only thing keeping Myself afloat. Reliving the time we all graduated colle

ge and went on that trip helped. We kept the sunroof down, let the wind blow our hair, sang every song on the radio at the top of our lungs. We were really free for the first time. Nothing could be better. Even though we were in the car for hours on end, we never tired of each other. During our trip, we stayed up late every night and ate anything we wanted. We actually watched a few of the movies we started. It was golden. Laughing, crying, and laughing some more. Oh, to be carefree like that again.

Time sped by but we all stuck together through thick and thin. Then something made her break. Maybe it was when all her schooling didn’t land her in the career she wanted which meant less pay and minimal opportunities. And then financial strain at home intensified with having to pay off loans. Or maybe it was the last surgery. The recovery took longer than planned. She even got to the point where she’d rather stay inside and watch a movie. Reading books almost took too much effort.

Thinking back though, it might have stemmed more from the time I second guessed Myself, and that’s when we noticed the subtle changes. Skipped gatherings and socials happened more and more. The last family reunion I was nowhere to be found. Mingling didn’t help; Me, and Myself talked, but that was it. It just didn’t seem as satisfying as when we were all there happily together.

For Me, knowing her wishes and dreams left a deep pit in the stomach. Myself believed in her, if only I believed in Myself, then we wouldn’t be in this sad predicament.

Myself tried to pretend things would all work out, but for Me falling for the facade wouldn’t get us anywhere. Things were falling apart without I, and rambling off more memories shared together only worsened our plight. We all needed to be reunited. And soon. Colors had lost their vibrancy, foods didn’t have flavor, everything was just blasé like life had failed.

Myself tended to sulk, thinking it was all useless, and that’s what threw Me into action; posting pictures, asking around for help. At least hope should be in our vocabulary.

Then one day I was spotted outside in the sun.

Myself shouted for joy but she disappeared about as quickly as she showed up, but for Me it was a sign. I wasn’t totally lost.

Over the next week, Me and Myself spent time soaking in the rays by either reading a good book on a blanket, or getting our hands dirty in the garden. Every time we were out there, I appeared.

And each time she stayed longer until all three of us were able to finally talk.

We came to the conclusion that life wasn’t worth living if we weren’t all in a partnership. No matter what happened, we had to stick to together through the good and the bad. So it was finally Me, Myself, and I again. And we vowed it would be us from then on.

I made sure we spent more time outside of the house where life was really golden; in the sun where the wind blew softly in our hair. Every now and then we would jam to the music and sing at the top of our lungs, every song that came on the radio. But more importantly, we laughed again.

Do you ever feel as if a part of you is lost? Sometimes this feeling comes out of the blue, or maybe it's caused by something that has changed in your life. This sense of confusion isn't permanent, laughter is always available if you will search for it. The biggest help alive is becoming your own "best" friend; someone you admire. You can't hate yourself happy. Dr. David Burns said, ""Self-esteem is one of the most powerful forces in the universe that leads to joy, productivity. It's like faith: it can move mountains."

Don't bury your self-esteem with self negative talk. It's not anyone else's responsibility to believe in "me," I must have my own self-regard. Byron Katie says it best, "It's not your job to like me, it's mine."

You deserve love and respect---from yourself. #selflove